Unexpected, How do you deal?
Life is full of so many different roads and unexpected events that I sometimes sit back and wonder what the hell is going on. Anything really, from marriages, babies, divorces, cheating, deaths, accomplishments, envy, greed, I mean the list can go on and on. It's like how do you cope with all these unexpected turn of events. Do you wallow in sadness and isolate yourself so that the unexpected doesn't resonate or do you get up, put on your smile and just deal?
I am guessing this is a question that we ask ourselves pretty much everyday, Any turn of event that alters the normalcy is viewed as an unexpected turn of events. I know, that for me, it really does affect my emotional and mental state when the unexpected occurs. It alters me in a way that sometimes I am like, what the hell, snap out of it Janet. Dealing with the unexpected I guess you can say is not my forte. However, I am learning how to cope with the changes of life. Well I guess really life in general. This year has been a really hard year between deaths, changes in my mental state and just overall life. I lost one of the main people that I just adored with all my being to covid, then I loose a friend of over 15 years to covid. I lost a friendship that meant more to me than anything I've ever attached myself to and just two days ago, a friend, an old classmate, passed away unexpectedly. So I ask myself how the hell do we humans deal with all this dark and unexpected events? Seriously, how do we do it?
I guess most of us do it by putting it on the back burner and pretending that the uncomfortable doesn't exist and TRY to move on. But let's be honest, that doesn't really work, at least not for me. Here is what happens, I put it on the back burner, won't even think about it and then all of sudden a trigger happens and that uncomfortable moment pops up and there goes the train of emotions. It's like going down Alice in Wonderland's Rabbit Hole. That's where I know I have to grab my emotions and my mind and breathe. Breathe like every breath is my last. Once I do this for 5 minutes and ground myself, I find that I am back to the present. Then I write about what I felt and why I felt this way. I also mention what triggered me at that moment so I am aware of it for the future. This one practice has helped me overcome some of the most recent unexpected situations. From broken friendships to deaths that have affected many.
So my dears, maybe this works for you but if it doesn't, don't hesitate to reach out via email or chat. I will do my best to just listen and tell you, if you like, what works for me. Remember, Love yourself, love yourself first, It's up to you! ~~~Janet~~~