The Act of Letting Go- Do We Ever Really Let Go?
Updated: Sep 15, 2021
Good Morning, I am grateful for waking up again and being able to live my best life for the day. I am loving me more just by waking up being grateful for being alive and breathing. Yet my mind woke up with the thought, do we really ever let go of unclosed wounds that ended with no explanation? Do we ever stop to think why did it end and why didn't we get closure? Did this person ever really care about me that it was so easy for them to get up and go? Hmmmm...
As I was drinking my coffee I came across some interesting information that really made me sit here and ponder. I'm putting my shit out there as I sit here and write this entry. The last few people that disappeared out of my life were people that I entrusted with everything. That I felt would never ever abandon me knowing my past and experience with my ex husband. The pain of feeling unwanted and never being the chosen one really sucks. Honestly, it made me feel like a disposable diaper. That I am not valuable enough to at least get an explanation. (I know better that I am none of those things now) I don't know about you guys but I blame myself. I feel like I am the problem. Then after pondering and overthinking it, I realize, "Hey, Stop it Janet! You aren't the problem, they are." It's true. I have the ability to pick and chose how I live my life with no strings. These people that just up and leave are scared to face the reality that they might have fucked up and now because they ghosted, that you won't take the time to listen. Yes, in some cases this may be true. However, if someone trusts you with their feelings, emotions and state of mind, respect it and at least give them the courtesy of sharing as to why things need to be the way they are. I don't know that is just me and how I feel. Darn it, back to what I came across. LOL I can sit here and ramble. LOL but I am not going to. Back to my point!
On my instagram I follow "thegoodquote" and today they posted something that resonated with what I am talking about. I am going to share their top 5 ways of letting go of someone that you didn't get closure from. ARE YOU READY?
Remember that someone who loves you will not leave you in a way that intentionally hurts you. If they do, that tells you everything. - Najwa Zebian
Remember that the way they treated you is your closure, not the reason behind it. So let go of your need to justify it. - Najwa Zebian
Remember that focusing your healing on making sense of them will not bring you any closer to yourself. Focusing your healing on understanding why this hurts as much as it does will reveal your inner wounds to you that need to be healed now or in ten years. - Najwa Zebian
Remember that being addicted to thinking about them is a form of holding on to hope that things were different. Being home with yourself means that you radically see and accept reality as it is. - Najwa Zebian
Remember that it's okay to hurt and grieve the loss of someone you once loved. It's okay to miss them. Love them from afar. Just don't make them the medicine to your pain. Your medicine is within you. - Najwa Zebian
This all made so much sense to me. The longer we sit with our thoughts of to why did this happen and think of them, we are giving them the power to continue to not give us closure. Letting go is letting go. I have learned that I need to do it in baby steps and I understand my triggers that ignite that thought of going back. I am learning to take the power to move on and let go. To cry and grieve the pain and then get up and do something about it. If they truly loved me and cared for me, they wouldn't have let me go. I have to accept that and acknowledge that they are the ones who lost me, not the other way around.
Well this was something interesting to write about. Remember if you need someone to listen or talk to, even though we are strangers, please don't hesitate to subscribe by signing up with your email. You can reach me on my instagram-lovingmemoreitsuptoyou. You can reach me via email at -firstname.lastname@example.org and you can find me on TIkTok for lives at Janesita_loves_makeup217 ( I am changing that name soon lol). Thank you again for reading and remember, " love yourself, love yourself more. It's up to you! " ~~~Janet~~~